Spider's dreadlocks were never just about wanting to be na'vi.
We got through the film, and only one other person is seen with dreadlocks. there's exactly one person spider was looking at when he decided how he wanted his hair to fall. one person whose silhouette he was trying to step inside of.
jake.
spider didn't want to look na'vi. he wanted to look like jake. he's human — every part of how he looks is a choice he had to make on purpose, and out of everything he could've chosen, he chose that man's hair. he sat down and had it locked strand by strand into the image of the one man he'd decided, somewhere quiet and unspoken, was supposed to be his father.
and it's the thing he could never say out loud. jake kept him at arm's length — he's not my kid — so spider couldn't claim him in words without risking the no. but he could wear him. he could carry it every single day, on his own head, where everyone could see. i want to be like you. i watched you and i chose you. look at me.
his actual father is the exact opposite of the man he was reaching for. so spider took the blood he was given and quietly wrote over it — shaped himself in the likeness of the father he picked, not the one he got. not to belong to a world. to belong to a person.
the hair was always look at me, i want to be like you — said in the one language he was too scared to use his mouth for.
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